Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I Live in the Projects


I stroll through the wide pathway, the looming, identical brick buildings threaten to engulf me, a tall, green gate guarding the rusty dumpsters, I hear little kids using four-letter words I never even heard until I was at least 15 years old, I pass two gangsta’s talking about someone getting canned and their rap sheet, an 11 year-old boy asks my friend to have sex with him, the same homeless, pregnant woman shuffles around day after day with her shopping cart filled with her belongings and in the empty park on a cold, blustery day, two men exchange drugs with a flick of the wrist.

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I live in the projects, there are no two ways about it, and every time I mention it to someone they ask me if I am frightened to be living in such a place. On some level there is definitely an underlying fear and I am aware that I must be cautious. However, there is something unreal and almost special about being able to watch a world that is so foreign to me. Amongst all of its vulgarity there is a world that is full of trust, love and a strong sense of community. I watch the little children playing in the park, their parents not around, but their neighbors are watching. I see the guys hanging out by the entrance, they aren’t just bumming around they are the watch guards of their home. I see the older people walking around in the morning, greeting the people that clean their streets, talking to them with respect and care.

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The other day I was walking down the street with a few people (who were all from New York) and we passed by a group of black people standing around and talking. As we were passing, a guy, probably in his mid-20’s looking like your average gangsta’ low-riding pants and all, asked, “Excuse me, do any of you have a tissue?” As I stopped to respond, the thought that this was a ploy to mug me crossed my mind, but I shoved it out of my head, “have a little faith,” I told myself. So, I opened my purse, pulled out my tissue and gave it to him. He promptly gangsta’ shuffled over to a little girl of about 4 and wiped her nose ever so gently. It was so sweet. The people I was with had not stopped or even acknowledged the man’s question, they had just ignored him. When we had walked away, one of them remarked, “That was really brave of you.”

Brave, shmave, I was just doing a decent thing. They probably, like I had, thought he was going to mug them. But I have learned that humans aren’t always so rough, and even when they are, often it is just a façade.

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Tonight I heard yelling and my thoughts went immediately to gang fights, but when I looked out my window I saw a bunch of guys playing a makeshift game of football in the frigid weather at 11:30 pm.

This is where they live. This is their home. They are people too, with fears, challenges, a mother and father, siblings they love this place that they call home.

But I am not familiar with their version of a home, I grew up in my own home, not in government housing, I grew up with a green backyard, not an alley with a garbage dump, I grew up knowing I will always have a warm place to sleep and food on the table, I never had to wonder where my next meal was coming from, I know that I will be respected in the world, they know that they may have to fight for respect.

What do I know of them?

Nothing.

Just my prejudices, my biases, the stigma that I have attached to them, the lies I have been told, and information gathered from movies I have watched.

Nothing.

Nothing real, nothing of their true lives,

Nothing of their fears and aspirations,

Nothing of their trials and joys,

Nothing of their families or friends, nothing.

Their lives are totally foreign to me, and for that I cannot judge.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hear ye, hear ye.

Nemo said...

Look, while everyone agrees in principle with what your saying about respect for all types of people, the fact remains that the attitude that people have taken up was not formed in a vacuum. While there may be thousands of good, honest people living in these projects in Harlem, it is still a dangerous neighborhood. Every community, by virtue of the fact that it is a community, must have its sense of trust and love. But can you honestly say to yourself that the apprehensiveness is unfounded? Will you pull out another tissue the day after you get mugged {CH"V}?

Raizel said...

Dov: Thanks for reading.

Nemo: As I depicted in the first paragraph of my post, the projects are a far cry from a beautiful, lovey dovey place to live. I know they are often quite dangerous neighborhoods.

I never claimed that the apprehensiveness is unfounded, far from it, my point is to re-awaken the fact that there is good there and that people should open their eyes to it and not be so focused on the negative aspects.

Additionally, that people should not judge them and shrug them off as disgusting, dangerous, crass, etc... They are people as well, and thank G-D we did not grow up in the situation they did.

Btw, those people that you say that agree with me in principle generally do not behave as though they do. People tend to create a very black and white (no pun intended) image of the situation and sterotype. So even if once upon a time they theoretically acknowledge that these people are people as well, and there is goodness and beauty there, seem to have forgotten.

And even if someone were to get mugged (Ch"V) so you be more aware and safe, but not to judge and say that every black person in the projects is going to do that to you. We see everything through a lens, so we have to choose how to perceive every single person and it makes a difference.

Raizel said...

Nemo: p.s. thank you too for reading =) I appreciate your comments

Nemo said...

No thanks needed... I'll read anything... well, most things...

Getting back to this tissue offering example... Why did you consider for the moment that his asking you for a tissue was a mugging ploy? I wouldn't call you a racist and nor would I say that you've been judgmental, overlooking beauty, or whatever. It's not stereotyping if it's a probability or, in more neutral terminology, a possibility. What it is is simply being weary of your surroundings.

Raizel said...

There is a fundamental difference between being aware/wary of your surroundings and automatically perceiving a black man as a thief, rapist, murderer, drug dealer etc...

What I see happening is that people take the stereotype and instead of just being careful and wary, they develop a hatred/disgust for whomever they are stereotyping and take out all possibilities of goodness and assume the worst to all people of that race.

So yes, it was potentially a possibility for him to mug me, but that should not be my assumption to every black man that I encounter!

Nemo said...

I don't agree.

You're looking at this as though a person wouldn't give the tissue simply because of the stereotype that a black man is a criminal. I think that it's not the person that they are afraid of, but rather that they are being cautious because of their surroundings. It's a classic case of Gavra versus Cheftza. It is hardly a personal issue, it is a precedented worry in such environs.

If there is a room that has a gun in it which randomly fires once a day at any given time, will you ever walk into that room? Probably not, because even though you have a 864,000 to 1 chance that the gun will not fire in the second you walk through, the reality exists. In a volatile high-crime neighborhood or place, you must be cautious.

If someone would see that same black person with the lo-riders in a safe white-collar neighborhood and still not give the tissue, then I would say that is being harshly judgmental.

Nemo said...

Sorry, 86,400.... (60x60)x24=86,400

Shoulda know that... I'm a math teacher...

Raizel said...

Ok Nemo, I hear what you are saying, but I think that the person IS looking at the black man and not at the fact that it is the projects, because we were passing by the sidewalk, AND the girls that I was with did NOT know that the buildngs we were passing were the projects (it is a very clean projects).

So yes, I agree, in a high crime neighborhood you should be cautious and be safe rather then sorry, but my point still stands, to keep your eyes open for the goodness and not only look for the bad and not to be judging anyone.