Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I'm Finally Home.


* I wrote this on my way to Israel on October 7th. This is the introduction to my transformative journey that characterized my trip to the holy land. More about the actual trip soon to come...

The Holy land awaits me. I have heard her calling my name for some time now.

The ache for her that lies deep in my soul has not waned, but has been covered by layers of dust of jaded cynicism.

But I am returning now, and as I get closer to her the ache increases and and my heart beats a little faster. The thought of kissing the ancient stones, of inhaling the air that has revived the soul of many, of hearing the vivacious tongue of the Jewish people alive in the streets, of seeing masses of Jews in search of their God, of His presence, trying to connect to the infinite and do what is right.

I remember the first time I went to Israel to learn the Holy words of truth in seminary. As we were driving back from the airport I gazed out the window into the the midnight-blue sky and the moon pierced my gaze, its brightness astounding my virgin-eyes. And then I recall smiling at the "nah, nach nachm.." graffiti painted with broad, bold strokes across the highway wall. I remember the newness, the excitement, and the thrill of discovering my true home; the land of my people.

Now, I am revisiting this dynamic and ever-changing world of people and I too am a new person. But the thrill of the newness I once experienced is soon to be replaced by the comfort of the familiar The world I am returning to, the world that transformed and shook mine upside down, is now receiving my presence once more with a sense of calm acceptance.

I was a different person back then. I was an 18 year old girl in search of my identity, confidence, a sense of self, excitement, adventure and truth. Now I am a 23 year old woman and am still in search of truth, but the tumult and turmoil that marked my adolescence has been replaced by a stirring for simplicity, peace, harmony, love, clarity and a deep and lasting connection with my people and my God.

The holy land beats in my aching heart.

I'm finally coming home.