Curly or straight, does it really matter?

Last week I straightened my hair. In my au natural state I am as curly as can be, so every once in a while I like a change, I like to be able to run my fingers through my hair (without getting stuck), I like to be able to go without the gooey feeling of product in my hair and I like the light feeling on my head.

So I straightened my hair and as usual I received a lot of compliments and shocked faces from people who have never seen me in straight hair before. I was reveling in my glorious straight hair, a sophisticated, older look, that to me is more glamorous. And then came Shabbos and it was time to wash my hair before it started to drip oil. I was disappointed, I was feeling so good and care-free with my straight hair, I had an unusual spring of security and confidence in my step. I almost didn’t want to go back to my curls. But cleanliness rules, so (not to worry) I did take a shower.

But a bizarre thing occurred; my curls did not rejuvenate like they usually do when I drench them with water. Most of my hair sprung back into place but there was a chunk of hair on the front left side that was mostly straight with a slight indent (that some may call a wave). I was horrified. My friends tried to reassure me saying, “don’t worry, wash your hair again and it will spring back.” I tried to believe them on the surface level, but deep inside I knew the truth and it was painful; I had killed my hair with the iron and I was going to have to wait for my hair to grow out to get my curls back again.

The past couple of days I have gone through a mourning period of denial, anger, acceptance and rebuilding. It really has been a deeply altering experience, after all, this is my hair we are talking about! This is often how people are able to pick me out of a crowd. It is a fundamental aspect of who I am! My precious curls!

Tonight I was sitting at my kitchen table and I was reading about the existence of mankind in a book by Rabbi David Aaron, “The Secret Life of G-D,” and how our existence is not completely necessary, but rather we exist solely because G-D chose to and continues to create us, and then it got me thinking about my existence in general and then without further notice a light bulb turned on and I had an epiphany: my hair does not define my existence, my soul does.

The way I act, my confidence, my real value is not contingent on whether my hair is straight or curly, its origin comes from a more lasting source. It comes from a deep rooted core called the soul, our divine source, which is the root of our confidence. It is our soul that is created in a Godly image, which makes us unique, invaluable and indispensable. Hair or any physical aspect of ourselves is just an external representation of our unique soul, just a physical reminder that each person is truly an individual.

The fact that we are a Godly soul is what dictates our true value.

Nothing more and nothing less.