It is the Tenth day of the month of Teves, I am mourning the siege of the walls of our holy city Yerushalayim. My spirit is calm, my mood sorrowful and I am feeling a deep connection with my people. I am in Staples making some photo copies for my final the following day. The door opens and a woman strolls in, her arms overflowing with packages to rerturn, a black scarf wrapped around her head, a long jean skirt flowing to the floor and sneakers peeking out; clearly she is a fellow Jew. I try to catch her eye in an acknowledgment that we are internally the same. She eyes me suspiciously, and as the elevator door is closing, mutters in a strong Brooklyn accent, “What, you never seen someone return things before?” I was shocked and saddened. My gesture that I saw as connecting and revitalizing she interpreted as degrading, insulting and made her feel self-conscious.
On her way out of the elevator to leave the store she passed me once again, but this time I stopped her and started apologizing profusely, explaining to her that my intentions were far from contempt or disparaging, but that I saw she was Jewish and so I wanted to acknowledge that. Her response hit me hard, “Oh so are you not from around here, do you not realize that this is a very Jewish neighborhood?”
That was it, she was so entrenched in American society, that it was not a value of hers to feel pride or even make a distinction in her mind when she saw a Jew. My mourning intensified and I saw the walls of Jerusalem being surrounded and besieged all over again in 2006. I wanted to connect, validate her existence, take pride in her outward display of her internal soul, and she wanted to blend in, live amongst the society and felt no connection to my soul. This is galus. Assimilation is rising and even the people that have not cut their ties have disconnected. Pain shoots through my heart. Tears well up in my eyes. I yearn for my people in their state of holiness or even in their state of imperfection, but at least in a state of unity, feeling and acknowledging each others presence.
1 comment:
Raizel, jewish assimalation has been growing very deep. Perhaps by striking up a conversation you may have made an impact on her neshama so next time a Jew approaches her she may be open to that persons love.
Keep on trying.
Post a Comment